I started Rest of the Movie Dot Com

  It was a simple idea. The challenge was doing it from a secure location that wouldn’t immediately get shut down. When I started rest of the movie,  I thought it would be an interesting experiment to also write a short-short story everyday to compete with the movies. I mean let’s be honest there is an unstated competition among the arts and I thought I’d pit movies against literature. I took a circuitous route to revealing who I am on this site to add an element of daily suspense. So far movies are ahead but I’m working on other competition venues. In two weeks I’m going to be selling my next book to people during a movie. I’m curious to see how that’ll go.

   My name is Tommy Treadwell and may the competition continue…

 

A Man Tests the Level to Which his Wife is Actually Listening to Him

   So that woman who seemed to be flirting with me last week. Uh huh. Turns out she’s a really nice lady. Really? Yeah, we chatted today and she’s definitely not a prostitute. She works as a secretary downtown. Oh yeah? Cause you said that last week. What? That she must have been a hooker but this morning there were two bona fide hookers walking past the bus stop and there was neither tension nor camaraderie between them. Well, I stand corrected. It’s funny how we actually got to talking. A bum rode over her foot with a shopping cart. She was wearing these pointy little things. She was also wearing a lot of makeup. She had enough eyeliner on for ten as if she were a makeup bank for all the other secretaries in her building. Like as if everyone would scrap a little off her face and put it on their own. Yeah? I shouldn’t be that mean with my new friend. New friend?  Well yeah so the bum rode over the pointy tip of her shoe and I punched him out. That’s how we met. Uh huh. And she’s coming over next Wednesday for dinner and a threesome. Oh great.

 

I’m Jeff Ladouceur

     Okay, this blog is over and done with. I’ve been writing a story within a story within a story over the past five months and today is the absolute end. This afternoon each of the stories on this blog will be printed on a balloon. Tonight these balloons will be layered inside one another and then blown up and placed inside my installation in front of the Vancouver Art Gallery.  

      Yes, this is art.

      Oh and here’s the last story you’re ever going to read on this blog…

 


 

The Eyebrow Shampoo Salesman Gets Punched Out Again

 

   And then came the knock on the door which – when opened – revealed a tiny man whose thinning, combed over hair resembled a barcode. His salesman smile gave Margaret a chill. “Hello, how are you today?” “I’m just running a bath for myself,” she said and started to close the door. “Oh well that’s perfect segue into a hello for me because I’m selling a product that you’ve never realized you need until today but it’s definitely something you can take to the bank… I mean to the bath: eyebrow shampoo.”

    Margaret raised her eyebrows as the salesman was also raising his. He’d been trained to do this after the introduction of his product in order to make an immediate body language connection. 92% of people were surprised by the product.

    “Are your eyebrows living up to their fullest potential? They’re beautiful but are they as beautiful as they could be?” The eyebrow shampoo salesman took a bottle out from his case and dabbed a drop on his fingertip. He transferred this over to his other index finger and then rubbed them over his eyebrows while he stared into the puddle-blue eyes of the woman. He smiled.

     “They sure don’t make hot baths like they used to, hey?” he said in what was supposed to be friendly chit-chat but this broke the illusion of interest and she once again tried to close the door. The woman’s lover – who could hear from the bathroom the difficulties she was having – came to the door to find this small man’s lecherous face beneath soapy, dripping eyebrows. He was promptly punched out.

   Poor eyebrow shampoo salesman!! Will you never make a sale? Keep believing in yourself and try not to stare so much.