Okay, this blog is over and done with. I’ve been writing a story within a story within a story over the past five months and today is the absolute end. This afternoon each of the stories on this blog will be printed on a balloon. Tonight these balloons will be layered inside one another and then blown up and placed inside my installation in front of the Vancouver Art Gallery.  

      Yes, this is art.

      Oh and here’s the last story you’re ever going to read on this blog…

 


 

The Eyebrow Shampoo Salesman Gets Punched Out Again

 

   And then came the knock on the door which – when opened – revealed a tiny man whose thinning, combed over hair resembled a barcode. His salesman smile gave Margaret a chill. “Hello, how are you today?” “I’m just running a bath for myself,” she said and started to close the door. “Oh well that’s perfect segue into a hello for me because I’m selling a product that you’ve never realized you need until today but it’s definitely something you can take to the bank… I mean to the bath: eyebrow shampoo.”

    Margaret raised her eyebrows as the salesman was also raising his. He’d been trained to do this after the introduction of his product in order to make an immediate body language connection. 92% of people were surprised by the product.

    “Are your eyebrows living up to their fullest potential? They’re beautiful but are they as beautiful as they could be?” The eyebrow shampoo salesman took a bottle out from his case and dabbed a drop on his fingertip. He transferred this over to his other index finger and then rubbed them over his eyebrows while he stared into the puddle-blue eyes of the woman. He smiled.

     “They sure don’t make hot baths like they used to, hey?” he said in what was supposed to be friendly chit-chat but this broke the illusion of interest and she once again tried to close the door. The woman’s lover – who could hear from the bathroom the difficulties she was having – came to the door to find this small man’s lecherous face beneath soapy, dripping eyebrows. He was promptly punched out.

   Poor eyebrow shampoo salesman!! Will you never make a sale? Keep believing in yourself and try not to stare so much.

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