And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for… the revelation of the real author behind the past four months of daily fast fictions… the one and only… me. My name is Lyle Smutts and I’m a visual artist from Chicago and everyday I’ve not only been writing a bizarre burst of prose but I’ve also shaved that microfiction into my beard. In order to replicate the daily blog in its entirety I’ll also wear a cap that announces my identity for the day. Yesterday, I wore a hat that said, “I gave Charlton Heston a homosexual blowjob” and last week I wore a hat that announced, “I’m the Olympic Torch.”  

   I’ll also be converting all these blog posts into beard script in a couple days.


A Fine Frame After All


     Andy sits in the back seat while Sam yells at her in the rear view mirror. She skooches from side to side and he adjusts the position of the mirror to follow her face. “You could have told me sooner, you know,” Sam shouts. “I can get a job in New York I just need time to research my options.” 

    You always need time, she thinks to herself but says nothing as she’s vowed to let him vent a little but before anything is resolved they’re at Eric and Dawn’s place. Andy gets out of the car with three presents held up to her chin. Sam runs behind her offering to help in an angry tone.

    “Oh my you shouldn’t have,” Dawn says at the front door as she takes over the tower of gifts. 

    “We didn’t know what you needed so we got a couple different…” Sam struggles for the last word.

    “Things,” Andy concludes and laughs. “So can we see her?”

     “She’s sleeping right now but…” Dawn looks at Eric who doesn’t think she’s sleeping at all and he motions their two friends into the newly decorated room. “But just to be on the safe side…” and he puts his index finger to his hushed lips. They quietly file into the room.

    Andy and Sam look deep into the crib and see nothing.

    “Yeah, we need a new blanket. It’s hard to spot Janice with this one,” Eric says and points to the middle of the blanket to a dot that looks slightly larger than the others. 

     “Oh wow…” Andy says,” she definitely looks… premature.”

     “Eight months early.”

     Andy and Sam debate over who little Janice takes after. They talk about upcoming highlights in the stages of her development. Sam waxes philosophic on how she resembles the Big Bang. “I mean how I imagine it looked. The start of a lot of potential.” Andy regrets not getting a smaller knit cap. “In two months it’ll be a perfect fit.” Sam continues along his abstract train of thought: “What a way to mark the moment. I mean you’ll always have this time in your life…With a baby. She’ll…”

     “Have arms and legs in about three weeks,” Eric concludes.

     As they step outside her room, Sam comments on the quality of a frame used to contain a large photo of Janice on her blanket. While he studies the frame, he gathers elements of his argument to use against Andy when they’re back in the car. He will convince her that he can join her in New York. 

     Their future.