Over the past four months we’ve been collectively writing a short-short story everyday. In spite of being eighty different people from over sixteen different countries, our technique has been simple: everyday, on a rotating basis, one of us starts a story with a word, the next wiki-member adds the next word and so on and so forth all the way through the eighty members. This will continue several times until somebody decides to end the story. It’s the latest application of a wiki-idea that has brought so many different kinds of people together. At some point we’ll start to consider putting these stories together for a book. How will we fit all our names on the cover? It’ll be to be a really big book of short-short stories.

   Today is our eightieth short-short story.

 

Don’t Do the Pope Dance

 

   It is with the utmost gravity that I bring your attention to the seriousness of the upcoming Holy Cross Dance on Friday, April 18th. It has been my pleasure to be principle of our distinguished school for over twelve years now and so I’ve seen my share of trends come and go. There is a trend afoot that I trust will never come through the doors of our school. To ensure this, I’ve taken time out to write this letter to all the students of our beloved school. (Go Holy Cross Nails! Go!) 

   While there are many legal, moral and theological questions about the video leaked onto the Internet of the Pope showering, I wish to simply state that I myself have not watched it. I only know that it is something that should not be. (Corinthians 3:12-15) There are times to have fun and play jokes but there are other times when you shouldn’t insert that tiny camera into the corner of the shower of God’s representative on earth. That the video was broadcast several days after our annual Holy Cross field trip to Rome raises a number of questions but I’m not here to point the finger of blame. In due time one of the students of this school will find it in his heart to confess this horrible sin. (There is graffiti all over Rome of the Pope in his shower. How would you feel if the same thing happened to you?) How far the Pope inserted a certain something up his something else is no joking matter. We all need to clean that spot. I hope everyone learns the lesson of privacy from this incident. We all need to take showers uninterrupted by the fear that we’re being filmed. If we don’t have this basic belief, then how will any of us stay clean? How will the world smell? 

    This brings me to the odious trend that I mentioned earlier of the “Pope Dance”. It appears that there’s a dance wherein everyone twists and turns in the exact actions that are shown in the Pope Shower Video. High school dances all across North America and Europe have been plagued by this dance-floor craze. Suffice it to say that anyone caught doing the “Pope Dance” will be expelled from Holy Cross. Let me repeat: we have a zero-tolerance policy on the “Pope Dance.” Everyone can enjoy themselves on Friday with any other number of dances, except of course for “the Same-Sex Marriage Dance”, “the Abortion Dance”, “the Contraceptive Dance,” or “the Watusi.

 

Sincerely yours in Christ,

Principle Barretto 

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