Yes, this is true, Louis Soupault the famous French surrealist. To impersonate Andre Breton -as I did yesterday – was my ultimate act of surrealism. Certainly, there have been other gestures of absurdity which I’ve committed over the decades – disguising myself as the heart-beat of a dead man, dressing up as the sunrise in Paris (but in Germany of course) and impersonating a new-born baby while in the arms of an exhausted mother in a delivery room – but all of these pale in comparison with the last four months of pretending to be somebody different everyday. This has been my ultimate automatic writing for the world.
  Voila, le conte d’aujourd’hui !!

The Door Thief

     In spite of the fact that he’d lost his face in the war, Jean was considered handsome by most everyone. Or this is what his wife told him, his jealous wife who still eyed other women warily. Of course she maintained a lover on the side but that was for her nerves, to soothe her panicked doubts of her husbands fidelity. Jean would be heckling faces in television commercials while she snuck out to get her fix of love. Between the commercials Jean would run through his list of potential jobs: a plastic surgeon that would turn pets’ features into the faces of long-lost children, a grief counselor with “tough-love, tough-luck” as his motto or an insurance claims adjuster. Jean hoped to squeeze serious out of the silly. The right job would spring out from between the lines of this list. Weeks later, when he finally embarked upon his new career as a door to door salesman, he found that taking the doors off their hinges while a child went deep into the house to get a parent was the most lucrative. The doors sold well on the black market and no one could ever successfully describe his features.