Now move on.

  (and read this following short-short story…)


Talk to the Open Wound



   The best advice I ever got was from an open wound on my left shoulder. Now I know you’re not gonna believe this because it was a ridiculous situation but I sliced open my left shoulder while chopping up red peppers. “As if,” I hear you say but it’s true I always chop vegetables on a cutting block on my shoulder. I started that in ‘Nam when I was a chef in the army. Guys got sick of the same gruel day after day and whenever we got vegetables (fresh or otherwise! ) it was quite an occasion and to make it all the more special I learned to trick-cut the vegetables to entertain the troops. I mean the military is like being in jail but guys are taking their aggression out on prisoners from another jail. Most of the time. When you’re serving food to some pretty pissed off patrons you pick up some tricks along the way to get them from lunging for your throat. Jimi Hendrix was my inspiration. I remembered seeing him play at Woodstock with his guitar behind his back and I thought I can do that. So I practiced cutting vegetables on a cutting block on my back but ended up in the hospital. The shoulder was a compromise position but you know it’s still kind of rock and roll. So back to the present, the other day I was chopping up vegetables on my shoulder and I had a lot on my mind. I guess that’s why the board and knife slipped and the blade slashed through my shoulder. Christ did it ever hurt. I ran to the bathroom to ran water over it but I couldn’t fit my shoulder in the sink so I grabbed a towel to sop up the blood and after keeping a towel pressed to the wound for five or so minutes, I lifted it up and the wound spoke to me. “Whatever’s eating you up, just let it go and I know that’s easier said than done but just find a physical form for your worries and put them in another place. Its all in your head but in a very physical state. Neurons and everything.” I was stunned. That was perfect advice. “Is that too esoteric for you?” he asked politely. “No, that makes perfect sense.” And I felt better. A lot better. My shoulder’s now bandaged up and he’s getting quieter under there each day. I’m getting over my worries which I won’t bore you with. They’re actually kind of weird and embarrassing and to be honest I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you about them.