Believe or not the stories on this blog from the past three months have come from various items put down and then picked up from a keyboard which had been forgotten beneath a blanket. I work in a coffee shop in Dublin and I just realized today that somebody had left the computer on. I can’t believe what’s come out of this accident. If it weren’t for the fact that I’m agnostic I would say this was a miracle. But what kind of a god would will all these ridiculous stories into creation ?
  My name is Jeremy and here’s a story that I wrote for today….

God is a Goof

   Who invited God? I said out loud. Did I just say that out loud, I thought to myself in words that snapped on the inside like elastic bands. Everyone at the tables stared at me in surprise. I’d expressed everyone’s sentiments though. Luckily, God, who was hard of hearing, was seated at the opposite end of the three tables we’d cobbled together for the afternoon of drinks and laughs. God sat with his beard resting on the table as if it were propping him up. He lifted up his beer and realized that we were talking about him. His thin line of a mouth curved up for a couple seconds.
    “You know how when you’re creating an entire universe you’re always left with the question: what order should I do this in ?”  
    No, nobody knew what it was like to grapple with that question, let alone create a universe. The worst thing about having drinks with God was that he prefaced everything with “You know how when…” as if we any clue what omniscience or creation ex nihilo was all about. I mean what was he thinking? Was he trying to make friends? 
    “And then you’re always like, well I’ll have to start with a division between the water and the sky but really there are so many other ways to start. That’s a head scratcher everyone hates,” he yelled so he could hear what he was saying. 
   We just stared at him as he blathered on and on and on.
    Really, God. Really.