Some people would like to know who I really am. Well, I’m a ten-year old boy from South Korea. I’m using this blog to practice the different forms and registers of English. I hope that you’re also entertained by my efforts.
   Here is a story that’s been created in the Tennessee idiom…


That Baby Sure Does Got a Dirty Mouth


   Jed n’ Bob n’ me went down to Clayton’s place last Friday ‘cause Clayton told us to get over to his ma’s shack straight away after school ‘cause he said there was a mighty strange sight to behold n’ we didn’t believe n’ we just wanted to go turkey hunting so he spilled his beans all about the strange sight:
   “My younger brother does something real sick”, he said
   “Bo ?”
   “No my younger younger brother.”
   “Luke ?”
   “No my younger younger younger brother.”
    “Lucy-may ?”
    “That’s my sister, numb-nuts.”
    We went through a list of all of his younger brothers n’ it sounded like one of those really boring parts of the Bible where it is just name after name after name n’ I always got to thinking why don’t they just footnote that kind of information the way they do in other books. Being literate sometimes sets me apart but I just make sure not to flaunt my learning n’ not to be too book proud but learning does help at times. If Clayton had known how to say youngest instead of just younger, younger younger, we coulda found the short-cut to who he was talking bout.
    “Dubya ?” 
    “Yeah. He does something real weird.”
     So we all decided to head n’ tail it over to Clayton’s ‘ cause Clayton did sure know all about weird n’ strange. His youngest brother Dubya was named after the president. George had already been taken twice.
    “My sis been coochie-cooing the baby all day n’ night n’ she been saying her name to the baby hoping that Dubya says her name first of all,” Clayton explained as we stepped into his house. “But whenever she’s asleeping, my brothers n’ me go to the baby and whisper the word “douchbag” in his ear.”
    We stifled our laughter ‘ cause we weren’t supposed to let on that the gang of us was in Clayton’s house.  His brothers and sister were outside playing by the river. 
    “Yesterday, Dubya said his first word n’ it was to my sister n’ she cried n’ cried ‘ cause sure ‘ nuf it was “douchbag.”
    We went into Clayton’s parents room where the baby was sleeping but it didn’t say anything n’ when Clayton shook it, it just started crying.  Little round noise machine that’s gonna grow up to make others cry, is what I thought when I saw his fat ugly face and the only thing filthy about its mouth was the lunch mess still smearing some of his lips.
    We were all about to kick Clayton when he said that there was something even weirder about the baby n’ he looked around himself n’ then he spied a nail sticking out of the window frame n’ he grabbed Dubya n’ swung him down like a sledgehammer on the nail that was sticking out. Dubya stopped crying n’ the nail was all hammered in. Dubya kind of laughed at his little swing ride.
    That baby sure does got a dirty mouth but its head is as hard as stone. 

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